Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along
Use technology. There are so many options available! Zoom, Facetime, email, texting, Instagram, etc. Grandparents can record themselves reading a bedtime story to share with their grandchildren. Grandchildren can send personalized messages and photos. Both with the same result of keeping in contact and staying close.
Share Photos. Place photos of grandparents in your home and point them out to your children often. You can also create a family photo album to page through while naming family members. Your children may not be able to see their grandparents frequently, but they will learn who they are and feel of their importance in the family. Write letters. Encourage communication via mail or email with both grandparents and grandchildren participating.
Both will anticipate the regular communication and both will be thrilled to receive responses. Grandparents provide a safe harbor for their grandkids, helping them feel loved and secure, which can be especially beneficial in times of difficulty or stress.
Your total acceptance and loving support will be gifts your grandchildren will cherish always. With their years of life experience, grandparents can serve as a loving advocate, guiding their grandchildren along the path of life. Grandparents can be a friend and fun-loving playmate in the lives of their grandchildren—and their grandchildren will love and remember them for it!
Here are some ideas to connecting with grandkids at any age :. Grandchildren often look up to their grandparents as worthy models for how to live life. Your good example will instill positive values for your grandchildren to emulate. Your actions speak volumes:. Teach your grandchildren to appreciate the qualities of compassion, tolerance, kindness, gentleness and love, and demonstrate these qualities in your own action and speech.
One of the greatest gifts that grandparents have to give is their time—time that presents the opportunity to pass on their knowledge, wisdom and life experience as well as practical skills. Grandparents can make wonderful babysitters, and childcare is expensive, so parents will probably appreciate whatever time you have to give.
While there may be much you may have to offer your grandchildren, grandparenting presents a learning opportunity for you, too. Talk to the parents about their ideas for your role, and share yours with them. Be clear about your choices, air any concerns and keep the lines of communication open.
As you work out your role, always remember that the parents are in charge. Abide by the rules and routines they establish for their children.
Refrain from offering advice unless requested, and even then, do so with caution. Unsolicited advice can lead to family conflict that can interfere with your relationship with the parents and therefore your grandchild. If you end up paying for expenses, consider your own financial security and ask for reimbursement if necessary.
Setting clear boundaries and practicing clear communication will help you and the parents understand one another and prevent resentments from arising.
Families change in myriad ways. Grandchildren get older and their interests and needs change. Parents have a new baby, get divorced or return to work after a family leave. Your life may change, because of work, social engagements, your health or any number of other reasons. As a result, you may find yourself spending more or less time with your grandchildren, or providing extra support to their parents during times of difficulty or change.
You probably have more time and patience than busy parents do, and may offer a more objective perspective by virtue of your age and distance from the immediate family. Sometimes families need the financial assistance. At other times, grandparents are all too happy to extend their generosity because it makes them feel good, and their families and grandchildren appreciate it, too.
Just be careful to take your own financial well-being into account. You can face some tough challenges. These are some of the family circumstances that can test your mettle and what you can do about them. Grandparenting can be complicated by past issues that put emotional distance between you and your adult children. This can mean not having the contact you wish to have with your grandchildren, which can be heartbreaking.
It's not just about you and your grandchild. Your relationship with your grandchild is embedded in the relationship with your adult child and his or her spouse. They are the gatekeepers to a successful relationship with your grandchildren. The most important lesson I've learned since becoming a grandma is to nurture the relationship with your adult children as much as you do with your grandchildren.
Simply put, you earn their trust by following their rules and respecting their decisions. It's especially important in the early stages of your relationship when everyone is learning their new roles as well as the boundaries between these roles. We grandparents have to step back and respect the parents' right to make decisions and not make judgments as they learn from their successes and mistakes.
If you sneak around and conspire with your grandchildren, telling them not to say anything to mommy, it will come back to haunt you. I know -- I once gave my 3-year-old granddaughter a cookie and the first thing she did when we got home was to run and tell her mommy how excited she was that Baba gave her a cookie! We grandparents are faced with a conundrum. We want to be buddies with our grandchildren and spoil them a little; but we don't want to be the enforcer who tells them they have to stop.
I'd rather leave that role to my daughter so I can enjoy being the Funmeister. That's the privilege we grandmas get to enjoy. It's why we find humor in American humorist Sam Levenson's quote: The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. The quote strikes a familiar chord. But it's also disrespectful and hurtful.
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